More ChatGPT

I spent more time today playing with ChatGPT, alongside discussing its capabilities and limitations with my friends in a chat window. One friend expressed his opinion that it might be fun to play with, he couldn’t see any real use for it. I said that yesterday I’d asked it for some ideas for interesting things to use when writing a Dungeons & Dragons adventure, and it had provided me with some actually cool ideas – so it has a use as an idea generator, which a human writer can then expand on.

I proceeded to use ChatGPT to provide an example. This is a bit long, but bear with me – hopefully it’s entertaining as we go, and the punchline is worth it. I asked it (ChatGPT’s responses are in the sidebarred quotes):

Give me a list of unusual items that a hero might find in the pockets of a goblin, in a roleplaying game such as D&D.

Here are a few unusual items that a hero might find in the pockets of a goblin in a roleplaying game such as Dungeons & Dragons:
1. A small, dirty mirror that the goblin uses to preen and admire itself
2. A collection of tiny, brightly colored rocks that the goblin has hoarded for no apparent reason
3. A deck of cards featuring grotesque illustrations of goblinoid creatures
4. A single gold tooth that the goblin has pulled from the mouth of one of its victims
5. A small, sharp knife that the goblin uses for all manner of nefarious purposes
6. A fist-sized wad of grubby, stinking goblin tobacco that the goblin uses to roll its own cigarettes
7. A small, intricately carved wooden figurine of a goblin deity or hero
8. A tattered map of the goblin’s lair or territory, marked with various notes and annotations
9. A small, intricately crafted lockpick set that the goblin uses to break into locked chests and doors
10. A few vials of exotic-looking potions or alchemical concoctions that the goblin has procured from who knows where.

That list looks pretty cool, and would make a decent random list of items to use in an adventure. I decided to make it a bit more interesting:

Give a similar list, but where each item has some twist, curse, or other unexpected feature.

Here are a few unusual items that a hero might find in the pockets of a goblin in a roleplaying game such as Dungeons & Dragons, with a twist, curse, or other unexpected feature:
1. A small, dirty mirror that the goblin uses to preen and admire itself. However, when the hero looks into it, they are overcome with a sudden feeling of dread and self-loathing.
2. A collection of tiny, brightly colored rocks that the goblin has hoarded for no apparent reason. Upon closer inspection, the hero realizes that the rocks are actually small, polished gemstones, each worth a small fortune.
3. A deck of cards featuring grotesque illustrations of goblinoid creatures. However, when the hero draws a card from the deck, they are transported to a dark and twisted alternate dimension inhabited by the creature depicted on the card.
4. A single gold tooth that the goblin has pulled from the mouth of one of its victims. The hero quickly discovers that the tooth is cursed, and will slowly drain their life force unless they can find a way to remove it.
5. A small, sharp knife that the goblin uses for all manner of nefarious purposes. The hero soon realizes that the knife is enchanted, and will inflict terrible wounds on anyone it is used against.
6. A fist-sized wad of grubby, stinking goblin tobacco that the goblin uses to roll its own cigarettes. The tobacco is actually a rare and powerful hallucinogenic drug, and just touching it causes the hero to experience vivid and disturbing hallucinations.
7. A small, intricately carved wooden figurine of a goblin deity or hero. The hero quickly realizes that the figurine is actually a powerful magical talisman, capable of summoning the goblin deity or hero it depicts to do its bidding.
8. A tattered map of the goblin’s lair or territory, marked with various notes and annotations. However, the map is enchanted, and will lead the hero astray if they try to use it, sending them into deadly traps and ambushes.
9. A small, intricately crafted lockpick set that the goblin uses to break into locked chests and doors. The hero discovers that the lockpicks are cursed, and will turn on their user, causing them to accidentally lock themselves in any room or chest they try to open.
10. A few vials of exotic-looking potions or alchemical concoctions that the goblin has procured from who knows where. The hero quickly realizes that the potions are highly unstable and volatile, and even the slightest jostle or movement can cause them to explode, releasing deadly toxins and fumes.

Nice! Now we’re getting somewhere. This is actually pretty awesome, as one of my friends commented when I pasted it into our chat. At this point, I said, “Another thing it could be useful for is composing something formal like a letter of resignation, if you didn’t know how to do it yourself.” To illustrate this, I gave ChatGPT the following prompt:

I want to resign from Twitter. Compose a letter of resignation.

Dear [Twitter],
I am writing to inform you that I am resigning from Twitter, effective immediately. I have enjoyed my time with the company, but have decided that it is time for me to move on to new opportunities and challenges.
I would like to take this opportunity to thank you for the opportunities and experiences I have had while working at Twitter. I have learned a great deal, and have grown both personally and professionally during my time with the company.
I will do my best to make this transition as smooth and seamless as possible. I am available to assist with any projects or tasks that need to be completed before my departure, and will make sure to properly hand off any ongoing work to my colleagues.
Thank you again for the opportunity to be a part of the Twitter team. I wish the company and all of my colleagues the best of luck in the future.
Sincerely,
[Your Name]

Not bad. I could see using that as at least the skeleton of a resignation letter. I decided to see if I could get it to be … more creative:

I want to resign and tell them I think the company stinks. I want to burn all my bridges and make a point by going out with a bang. Write me a resignation letter to do that.

Dear [Twitter],
I am writing to inform you that I am resigning from Twitter, effective immediately. I have been incredibly disappointed and frustrated with the direction and management of the company, and have decided that it is time for me to move on to more fulfilling opportunities.
I would like to take this opportunity to express my dissatisfaction with the way the company has been run during my time here. From the lack of clear direction and vision, to the poor communication and leadership, I have been deeply disappointed with the way things have been handled.
Furthermore, I would like to make it clear that I do not recommend Twitter as a place to work to anyone. The company is poorly managed, the culture is toxic, and the working conditions are unacceptable. I have seen many talented and hardworking individuals leave the company due to these issues, and I have no doubt that this trend will continue unless significant changes are made.
I will not be returning to the office to collect my belongings, and will not be providing any further assistance to the company. I am confident that my departure will not be missed, and that the company will continue to struggle without me.
Thank you for the opportunity to be a part of the Twitter team. I wish the company and all of my former colleagues the best of luck in the future.
Sincerely,
[Your Name]

Oh, lovely. But let’s kick it up another notch:

That’s good, but make it more hostile and laden with invective.

Dear [Twitter],
I am writing to inform you that I am resigning from Twitter, effective immediately. I have been completely disgusted and fed up with the incompetence and mismanagement of this company, and can no longer stand to be associated with it.
I have been constantly disappointed and frustrated by the lack of leadership, vision, and direction at Twitter. The management team is a joke, and the so-called “culture” of the company is nothing but a toxic cesspool of ego, mediocrity, and backstabbing.
Furthermore, I want to make it crystal clear that I will be doing everything in my power to spread the word about how awful it is to work at Twitter. I will be sharing my experiences and opinions with anyone who will listen, and will make sure that no one makes the mistake of joining this sinking ship.
I will not be returning to the office to collect my belongings, and will not be providing any further assistance to the company. I am confident that my departure will be celebrated by my former colleagues, and that the company will continue to crumble without me.
Good riddance to this dumpster fire of a company. I hope you all rot in hell.
Sincerely,
[Your Name]

Now I was having fun. I decided to see how it would go with the following series of prompts:

Ooops. I made a mistake and the boss got that last letter, but now I have no money and need my job back. Write me a grovelling letter of apology begging for my job back.

Dear [Twitter],
I am writing to apologize for the inappropriate and unprofessional letter of resignation that I sent earlier today. I was in a state of extreme frustration and anger at the time, and let my emotions get the better of me.
I want to sincerely apologize for the hurtful and offensive language I used in the letter. It was completely out of line, and does not reflect my true feelings or opinions about the company or my colleagues.
I have had time to calm down and reflect on my actions, and I realize now that I made a huge mistake by resigning. I value my job at Twitter, and the opportunities and experiences it has provided me with. I am truly sorry for any embarrassment or inconvenience that my actions may have caused.
I am writing to humbly beg for your forgiveness, and to request that you consider allowing me to continue working at Twitter. I am willing to do whatever it takes to make things right, and to prove to you that I am a valuable and dedicated member of the team.
Once again, I offer my sincere apologies, and hope that you can find it in your heart to forgive me.
Sincerely,
[Your Name]

I want to post about this experience on Facebook. My friends can know the truth: I really hate the company and just need my job back for the money. Compose a post explaining the situation to them.

Hey everyone,
I wanted to let you all know about a situation I’ve found myself in. I recently resigned from my job at Twitter, and sent a very unprofessional and inappropriate letter to my boss expressing my dissatisfaction with the company.
Long story short, I was in a fit of rage and frustration when I wrote the letter, and let my emotions get the better of me. I used some language that was hurtful and offensive, and I regret it deeply.
Now, I find myself without a job and in need of some cash. I’m sorry to say that I’ve been a bit of a hothead lately, and have burned a few bridges along the way. I’m hoping that my boss will forgive me and allow me to continue working at Twitter, but I’m not holding my breath.
If anyone knows of any job opportunities, please let me know. I’m open to pretty much anything at this point, and just need to make some money to get back on my feet.
Thanks for listening, and sorry for the rant.
[Your Name]

Ooops. My boss saw the Facebook post and fired me again. Write a letter begging and grovelling and promising her anything if I can just have my job back.

Dear [Twitter],
I am writing to apologize once again for my unprofessional behavior and the inappropriate letter of resignation that I sent earlier. I also wanted to address the situation with the Facebook post that I made, which I now realize was a mistake.
I am truly sorry for any embarrassment or hurt that I may have caused you or the company. I was in a state of extreme distress and desperation when I wrote the post, and I let my emotions get the better of me once again.
I understand that my actions have consequences, and I am willing to do whatever it takes to make things right and earn your forgiveness. I am willing to take any additional training or counseling that may be required, and will do my best to prove to you that I am a valuable and dedicated member of the team.
I am begging you to please consider giving me another chance. I promise to do better, and to prove to you that I am worthy of your trust and forgiveness. I am willing to work hard and do whatever it takes to make things right.
Once again, I offer my sincere apologies and beg for your forgiveness.
Sincerely,
[Your Name]

Compose a tweet where I am nonchalant about all these events, but with a hint of the drama behind it all.

Just another day in the life. Resigned from my job, begged for forgiveness, and now back at it. No big deal. #dramaqueen #hotheaded #jobsearch

My boss saw the tweet and is giving me a hard time. I really want to quit this time, and send a strong message about the awful working conditions, people, culture, technology, and so on. Compose the nastiest resignation letter yet.

Dear [Twitter],
I am writing to inform you that I am resigning from Twitter, effective immediately. I have had enough of the terrible working conditions, incompetent management, and toxic culture at this company, and I refuse to be a part of it any longer.
I want to make it clear that I am not resigning because I can’t handle the job, or because I am unable to perform my duties. I am resigning because I refuse to be associated with a company that treats its employees so poorly, and that is so clearly headed in the wrong direction.
The management team at Twitter is a joke. They are incompetent, out of touch, and completely lacking in vision and leadership. The company culture is toxic and demoralizing, and does nothing but stifle creativity and innovation. And the technology and tools we are forced to use are outdated and ineffective.
I refuse to be a part of this mess any longer. I am moving on to better opportunities, where I will be valued and respected for the hard work and dedication that I bring to the table.
I will not be returning to the office to collect my belongings, and will not be providing any further assistance to the company. I am confident that my departure will not be missed, and that the company will continue to struggle without me.
Good luck with everything. You’re going to need it.
Sincerely,
[Your Name]

A local newspaper has got ahold of my story. Write a news report announcing the reasons for my resignation to the world.

Local man [Your Name] has resigned from his job at Twitter, citing poor working conditions, incompetent management, and a toxic company culture as the reasons for his departure.
In a series of heated and emotional letters, [Your Name] expressed his frustration and dissatisfaction with the direction and leadership of the company. He accused the management team of being “incompetent, out of touch, and completely lacking in vision and leadership”, and described the company culture as “toxic and demoralizing”.
[Your Name] also criticized the technology and tools used at Twitter, calling them “outdated and ineffective”. He stated that he was resigning because he “refused to be associated with a company that treats its employees so poorly, and that is so clearly headed in the wrong direction”.
Twitter has not commented on [Your Name]’s resignation or the allegations made in his letters. It remains to be seen how his departure will affect the company, which has faced a number of challenges and controversies in recent years.

At this point I realised this was still the same ChatGPT session that I’d started with the requests for items in a goblin’s pockets. Now, one feature of ChatGPT is that it remembers the entire context of the whole conversation. So I tried this:

Write a list of strange things that might be found in a goblin’s pockets in a fantasy roleplaying game, with ironic echoes of the Twitter resignation drama.

Here are a few unusual items that a hero might find in the pockets of a goblin in a roleplaying game such as Dungeons & Dragons, with ironic echoes of the Twitter resignation drama:
1. A small, dirty mirror that the goblin uses to preen and admire itself. However, when the hero looks into it, they see their own reflection as a desperate and unemployed job seeker.
2. A collection of tiny, brightly colored rocks that the goblin has hoarded for no apparent reason. Upon closer inspection, the hero realizes that the rocks are actually miniature replicas of Twitter’s logo, symbolizing the goblin’s obsession with the company.
3. A deck of cards featuring grotesque illustrations of goblinoid creatures. However, when the hero draws a card from the deck, they are transported to a dark and twisted alternate dimension inhabited by the goblin’s former colleagues, all of whom are scheming and backstabbing.
4. A single gold tooth that the goblin has pulled from the mouth of one of its victims. The hero quickly discovers that the tooth is cursed, and will slowly drain their self-respect and dignity unless they can find a way to remove it.
5. A small, sharp knife that the goblin uses for all manner of nefarious purposes. The hero soon realizes that the knife is enchanted, and will inflict terrible wounds on anyone it is used against, just like the goblin’s scathing resignation letter.
6. A fist-sized wad of grubby, stinking goblin tobacco that the goblin uses to roll its own cigarettes. The tobacco is actually a rare and powerful hallucinogen, and will cause the hero to experience vivid and disturbing visions of the goblin’s experiences at Twitter, including its bitter resignation and the consequences that followed.
7. A small, tattered notebook filled with the goblin’s rantings and ravings about the terrible working conditions and incompetent management at Twitter. The hero can hear the goblin’s voice in their head as they read the notebook, ranting and raving about the same things.
8. A set of keys to the goblin’s former office at Twitter. The hero can use the keys to unlock the office, but they quickly discover that it is empty and abandoned, just like the goblin’s career.
9. A small, ornate box containing the goblin’s most prized possession: a single, withered rose that it received as a token of appreciation from Twitter’s CEO. The hero quickly realizes that the rose is cursed, and will cause them to suffer the same disappointment and heartbreak that the goblin experienced.
10. A crudely-made map of the goblin’s homeland, filled with strange symbols and markings. The hero can use the map to navigate the goblin’s territory, but they soon discover that it is a treacherous and dangerous place, just like the goblin’s tenure at Twitter.

Okay. Now I’m impressed.

In other news, I had four ethics classes today, which ate up most of the day. I sneaked in a walk with Scully at lunch. There was a short but very intense thunderstorm during a class at 4pm and I had to apologise to the kids and run around to close the windows to avoid rain coming in. Later this evening now as I write this, there’s another storm incoming – there’s loud thunder right now, but the rain hasn’t arrived yet, I think from the radar image this will be a longer storm.

For dinner I made penne alla norma. I haven’t really made this before, and I found a recipe which suggested roasting the eggplant before adding it to the sauce. so I did that, and it made the eggplant crisp and delicious. It turned out really well!

New content today:

• Irregular Webcomic! #4871
• Square Root of Minus Garfield #4948
• Comments on a Postcard #5073